On Sundays there’s a Spanish channel that plays Dexter reruns- that is, they play Dexter in English but the commercials are still in Spanish. It’s the best of both worlds; I get to watch Dexter and learn Spanish. Of course what I’ve learned is limited to selling you AT&T and why you should eat Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. I was in for a treat today though. Several years ago there were some clips from a comedian named Anjelah Johnson that floated around the interwebs, most notably the nail salon lady and Bon Qui Qui. Well apparently they have combined the two to create a music video- yes, a music video! And they played it during a commercial break. Bon Qui Qui has her own music video for a song called “No Boyfren”. Google it. You’re welcome.
While that little gem should be enough for you, I highly doubt you came here just for that. This week I was approached by someone who saw my paleo chocolate chip cookies and was wondering if I could make them without eggs. Her daughter is allergic to eggs (among other things) and has pretty strict diet restrictions. Most paleo baking relies on eggs to bind ingredients together since that’s usually a job for gluten. I did some searching and came across this recipe from Elana’s Pantry. I made a few adjustments based on the ingredients I had and was pretty pleased with the results.
Chocolate Chip Cookies (Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Egg Free) ~18 cookies
3 cups almond flour*
½ tsp. sea salt
½ tsp. baking soda
½ cup grapeseed oil
1 Tbsp. vanilla extract
½ cup honey
1 cup Enjoy Life chocolate chips
Preheat the oven to 350*. Mix the dry ingredients together in a bowl. Whisk the wet ingredients together in a separate bowl. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix until combined. Fold in chocolate chips. I did this all by hand, I think an electric mixer might lead to over mixing. Use a cookie scoop to drop dough onto a cookie sheet. Bake for ~8 minutes. These are soft cookies, so if they look like they need a little more time to set (1-2 minutes) then leave them in for a little longer. Just don’t let them burn! Let them cool for a minute or two on the cookie sheet before you move them to a cooling rack. They will firm up as they cool off.
*If you read Elana’s Pantry’s recipe, she will say to not use Bob’s Red Mill almond flour. That happened to be what I had on hand, so that is what I used. My measurements are based on using that almond flour.
I feel like watching the Winter Olympics is a little more authentic now that it actually feels like winter here. This whole ending-the-day-at-the-same-cold-temps-we-started-with is a very odd occurrence in Texas. We’re used to it warming up as the day goes on…not be cold and stay cold! I don’t remember ever having an ice day growing up, and we had two in the past two weeks. People even claimed to have seen snow this morning, although I saw nothing. I was also completely bundled up and running to my classroom before the sun was up, so maybe I missed the four flakes that were floating down. This weather tends to make people feel BLAH and being cooped up inside for longer than you’re used to can also lead to more snacking. Well no fear! I have some chocolate chip cookies for you today that aren’t entirely guilt free, but they are gluten free, dairy free, and sugar free. I took some to a Super Bowl party and by the time I left they were all gone. Chocolate chip cookies can cheer anyone up, even if it’s cold, rainy, and cloudy outside!
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine dry ingredients together in a medium sized bowl. In a separate bowl beat eggs, maple syrup, and vanilla extract with a hand mixer.
Add the wet ingredients to the dry, and mix until well combined. Melt the coconut oil and pour it into the batter. Mix until well combined. Fold in chocolate chips. Scoop cookie dough onto a greased baking sheet. Bake for 12-15 minutes. It makes about 2 dozen cookies.
Let me preface this with the fact that I am a fan of BSpears and Gaga. You can say what you want, but I enjoy singing and dancing around to their songs. It’s Britney, bitch. Until recently I had been of the opinion that Miley should have stopped after Party in the USA (much like Billy Ray should have stopped after Achy Breaky Heart). However I think Miley might have outdone BSpears and Gaga in regards to their latest albums. Yeah, I said it. Although “We Can’t Stop” probably goes in my Top 5 Worst Songs of 2013, the rest of the album is actually pretty catchy. It doesn’t top Circus or Fame…but if we’re going off most recent releases, I think Miley wins.
Now that I have that off my chest, I can share my paleo treats of the week. I had some leftover pumpkin, so I just googled until I found a good pumpkin dessert recipe. My main criteria was that I had all the ingredients because I didn’t feel like going to the store. Lazy? …..or efficient? Definitely efficient. I found this recipe over at Against All Grain. I made a few tweaks based on the ingredients I had and was pretty pleased with the results. I especially liked the frosting- it’s hard to do a good paleo frosting! These cookies are chewy and taste exactly how a spice cookie should. Enjoy!
Paleo Pumpkin Spice Cookies
2½ cups almond flour
2 Tbsp. coconut flour
2 tsp. cinnamon
½ tsp. ginger
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. nutmeg
¼ tsp. cloves
¼ tsp. sea salt
1/3 cup honey
½ cup pumpkin
1 tsp. vanilla Icing
2 Tbsp. honey
4 Tbsp. coconut butter
4 Tbsp. coconut milk
1 tsp. butter
1 tsp. vanilla
Preheat oven to 350. Mix together the dry ingredients in a bowl. Blend the honey, pumpkin, egg, and vanilla in a food processor. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the pumpkin mixture. Use a cookie scoop to make small balls and place on your cookie sheet (either line cookie sheet with parchment paper or grease it). Use a glass with a flat bottom to flatten each cookie. Bake for 15-16 minutes at 350 degrees.
To make the frosting, blend all of the ingredients in a blender or food processor (I used a magic bullet). You can adjust the consistency of the frosting by adding coconut milk.
This past week was homecoming week at the school where I teach. If you are unfamiliar with homecoming in Texas, then you have no idea what I’m talking about. All non-Texans can refer to this article. Yes, that really happens and no, I can’t explain why. All I know is that I had to spend an entire day listening to bells and whistles and looking at glitter, gold, and miles of ribbon. Everything is bigger in Texas. We have theme days each day as well to build up school spirit. We don’t mess around. With that said, high school football, homecoming, and a cool front officially ushered in fall. I usually get a constant stream of requests for pumpkin cupcakes once October hits. As I was baking a batch of pumpkin spice cupcakes this week, I realized I had yet to try paleo pumpkin spice cupcakes. A couple days later and I fixed that issue! I’m really trying to provide more flavors for the gluten free crowd, so if you have any suggestions please let me know!
Preheat the oven to 350* and line your cupcake pan. Whisk together the flours, arrowroot, baking soda, and spices. With an electric mixer, mix together the pumpkin, eggs, oil, honey, and vinegar until well combined. Add the flour mixture and mix until combined. Fold in chocolate chips (the chocolate chips I use are dairy/gluten free). Bake at 350* for 20 minutes or until they pass the toothpick test.
Maple Cream Cheese Frosting
3/4 c. heavy cream
8 oz. cream cheese
2 Tbsp. maple syrup
2 Tbsp. honey
Whip the heavy cream until stiff peaks form. In a separate bowl, whip the cream cheese until smooth. Add the maple syrup and honey to the cream cheese, mix until combined. Fold the whipped cream into the cream cheese and mix until combined. Frost your cupcakes, and sprinkle with a cinnamon/nutmeg mixture.
A lot of people ask me how I don’t eat everything I bake. And they seem surprised when I say I don’t want to weigh 400 pounds. It’s actually surprisingly easy to avoid tasting because I am constantly surrounded by it. However…paleo baking is much harder to resist. There’s a little voice that keeps saying, “It’s okay, it’s paleo!”. Which yes, it is better than the alternative…but eating a whole pan of something is never good no matter what it is!! It was definitely a test of self-control with these blondies because they didn’t even taste paleo. I promise. I’ve had some paleo treats that taste exactly that…paleo. These will make you feel guilty. I made them for my Grandmother for Mother’s Day. She’s diabetic and I’ve been trying to get her to try paleo for awhile…no dice. I wanted to bake her something so I decided to sneak in a paleo treat. I may have neglected to tell her they were paleo (Sorry GM!). But really…these are so good you could fool anyone.
Paleo Almond Butter Blondies
1/2 cup coconut oil
2/3 cup honey
1/2 cup almond butter
1 tsp. vanilla
2 1/2 cup almond flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. coarse salt
1 cup chocolate chips (I use Enjoy Life chips. If you think this is pushing the paleo envelope…just leave it out!)
Preheat the oven to 350* and grease an 8X8 pan. Mix the coconut oil, honey, almond butter, eggs, and vanilla together. Add the dry ingredients and mix until combined. Fold in the chocolate chips. Pour batter into pan and bake for about 22 minutes.
*I did test a few in a cupcake pan and they made cute little mini cupcakes. Bake for about 12-13 minutes if you want mini cupcakes.
I added chocolate ganache on top. I did use heavy cream to make this, so it’s not ENTIRELY paleo…but it’s still gluten free and sugar free (just cream and dark chocolate). You could make my paleo salted caramel frosting if you want a more paleo frosting option. Depends on how much of a cheat you want!
This past week was an off week for me baking wise. I was going out of town for a marathon and basically I used that as an excuse to not do any baking. But given the amount of baking that will come in the next few weeks, I don’t feel guilty at all. However that did leave me with the issue of what to post this week. I don’t think posting a picture of my friend and I at the marathon would suffice as a replacement.
But that doesn’t mean I won’t post one anyways.
Anyways. So I have this friend, we’ll call her Leah. Because that’s her name. She loves food as much as I do, and we talk about food a lot. She might as well be an official taste tester and sounding board for the Sassy Apron. Last week she told me about this banana crepe “recipe” she had heard about that was super simple. I was being lazy and not wanting to cook dinner, so banana crepes with peanut butter sounded like a good idea. You really can’t get much easier than this. Ready for it?
Banana Paleo Crepes
Throw ingredients into a blender. Blend. Pour small circles onto a griddle or pan. Flip. You’re done.
Because banana and peanut butter goes together almost as well as chocolate and peanut butter, we covered them in peanut butter. CALM DOWN I know peanut butter isn’t paleo. You don’t have to use peanut butter if you don’t want to…but it is tasty.
You could also top it with strawberries. Or add some cocoa in the mix. Or maybe use pumpkin instead of banana. We came up with several variations, although they have yet to be tested! You can also add a few teaspoons of almond or coconut flour to thicken the batter up a little.